literature

Portal 100 Themes: 5 - Break Up

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Literature Text

Chell's eyes slowly eased open.
Her head hurt, Her sides ached, most of her skin was slightly red from the exposure to Vacuum, and her head was throbbing.

As she got up onto one knee, Chell realized how lucky she had been. If her lungs had been full, they would have exploded. She was lucky to come out of it with only pinched skin as it was.

Chell got up, realizing that she was in an Elevator, and that GLaDOS was looking in at her through the glass.
At the same time two robots - one tall and slender with an orange eye, and a shorter fat one with a blue eye – were standing a little way over to one side.

"Ah. You're alive." GLaDOS's eye adopted a displeased slant. "Actually, I shouldn't say that. I knew that you were alive. What I should say is: Ah. You aren't a vegetable."
She paused.
"For the record, I was hoping you were a vegetable."

Chell scowled.

"You know, I really should kill you right now. It would be simple. After all the hardships I've endured because of you. You do know that, right?"

She had no response, as GLaDOS continued.

"I suppose that in the long run, you helped me with one thing. The surge of emotion that shot through me when I saved your life gave me a valuable piece of information: Where Caroline lives in my brain."

There came a beep, and the ambient light of the room dropped from blue to grey.

"Caroline: Deleted." Stated the neutral voice of the Announcer.

"Goodbye, Caroline." GLaDOS's optic closed to a squint. "So, I suppose I owe you for that… And I suppose helping undo your idiotic decision of putting that little moron in control of my facility counts."

Chell looked up at GLaDOS, the same defiant glimmer in her eye.

"Don't you use that look with me. What I am saying, is that I am letting you go."

The woman's look of defiance instantly morphed into a mixture of surprise, and distrust.

"Now why would you not trust me? I haven't lied to you in at least three hours." GLaDOS was getting irritated. "When you think about it, that's a pretty good track record. Actually, you know what? I am sick of this. Just go."

And with that, the elevator started moving upwards.

"Oh, and one other thing." GLaDOS added right before Chell disappeared from sight.
"Don't come back."

Chell looked down in surprise at GLaDOS right before she entered the shaft.
What was she doing?

***

She fell silent, savouring the precious moment, and the knowledge that she was finally leaving. That she wouldn't have to worry about her ever again.

"Orange. Blue. Please report for disassembling…" GLaDOS paused. "Now."
And with that, the two robots suddenly exploded, scattering parts all over her chamber.

"Excellent. Now to get back to the scie-"

"Cara bella, cara mia bella!
Mia bambina, o ciel!
Ché la stimo…
Ché la stimo.
O cara mia, addio!
La mia bambina cara,
perché non passi lontana?
Sì, lontana da Scïenza,
Cara, cara mia bambina?
Ah, mia bella!
Ah, mia cara!
Ah, mia cara!
Ah, mia bambina!
O cara, cara mia…
"

GLaDOS listened to the song intently, wondering why on earth the turrets would bother saying goodbye to Chell of all people.

When it was over, she turned her head away from the elevator shaft, filled with an emotion that she could not remember feeling before.

What was it? What was she feeling?

Still unable to fathom what was happening, GLaDOS simply went with what her 'gut' was telling her.

"Goodbye." She whispered, finally identifying the feeling.

It was sadness.
Wow... I am TERRIBLE at these sorts of scenes. They just don't... Feel like they should. They feel rushed, and forced.

Unnatural, describes it pretty well.

Hmm... I actually wrote this without any ChellDOS in it. I actually thought I would... It shows how these stories change in the writing process.

This is a Portal Fan-Fiction, following the 100 themes challenge, which can be found here: [link]
Comments15
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Jenovaii's avatar
:star::star::star::star: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star: Impact

I love the alternative dialogue. It not only shows the lack of Caroline's influence on GLaDOS but also helps to strengthen the impact of the ending. Having her bitter and sarcastic instead of the canon "You're my best friend" really shows the dichotomy between what she thinks and what she feels.

The last two lines before the break seem a little unnecessary. We're not really interested in Chell's perspective. And the switch back to GLaDOS is also a little jarring.

I also don't think you needed all of the Cara Mia Addio lyrics - just a few would be enough for your audience to understand what it is.

I DO like that the TURRETS are the ones singing and not GLaDOS. It's not a very popular fan theory (which really doesn't mean ANYTHING - it's still a good theory!) so i'm really glad you explored it. GLaDOS's resulting confusion is nice.

And the last line, the ending, comes in strong and emotional. Wonderful. Powerful. Perfect.

All in all, a really good fic, and certainly one of my favorites of your 100 so far.